


Oasis

by timelordangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AO3 1 Million, AU, Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Elements, Gen, Love/Hate, Not too angsty, Slow Burn, and can slightly control, every person has an element they connect to, resort au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:24:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1196589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/timelordangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>o·a·sis<br/>Noun:<br/>a pleasant or peaceful area or period in the midst of a difficult, troubled, or hectic place or situation. "An Oasis of calm" </p><p>Dean and Sam co-own the most popular Resort and Spa for Elementals in the Midwest, and Dean puts his entire life in his work. When Castiel Novak shows up as a new employee, however, the two have trouble warming up to each other. This is the story of how two lives crossed innocently and changed each other permanently with a little bit of anger, a lot of pain, and more love than either one expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. New Jobs and New People

“Welcome to Oasis resort and spa! We are extremely excited to have you here, if you would just follow me to the check in desk-“ A cheerful blond woman greeted.

“Actually,” The man interrupted, “I am here as a new instructor.”

“Oh, in that case, let me find the boss.” She paused, and smiled. “Jo Harvelle, are you are…?”

“Castiel Novak, it’s a pleasure to meet you Ms. Harvelle.” Castiel smiled, extending the hand that wasn’t holding his briefcase.

“Ms. Harvelle is behind the check in counter, please, call me Jo.” Jo nodded over her shoulder to the woman shuffling papers across the lobby. “I’ll go find Mr. Winchester for you, and I wouldn’t dare call him Dean.” She winked and walked off, leaving Castiel to himself.

The lobby was three stories high with large walls constructed of glass and brick, beautiful architecture bringing the entire room together with a large glass elevator in the middle. Directly across from the elevator was a revolving entrance door, to the left was the check in desk, and to the right was the start of another hallway. On the back wall there were two doors on the right, and two doors on the left, and a small fountain on both sides between the doors. Jo had disappeared through the hallway to his right, and reappeared just as Castiel glanced over.

“Mr. Winchester, this is Castiel Novak. He’s a new instructor.” Jo smiled as she walked up with another man by her side. He was tall, with short spiked hair and dark shadows on his jaw line. Castiel tightened his hold on his suitcase and immediately extended his hand.

“Mr. Winchester, I’m Castiel.” He straightened his posture and gave his best smile.

“Yeah, okay.” Dean licked his lips and glared at Castiel, scrutinizing the other man. He switched his clipboard to his left hand and reluctantly held out his right and gave Castiel’s hand a tight, single shake. “Jo, why don’t you go to the pool and make sure there are no troubles with the lifeguard.”

She nodded once and left, shooting Dean and Castiel one last glance.

“Follow.” Dean instructed before turning and walking towards the hallway once again. Castiel quickly followed, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Just get off your office job, think you’d give yoga instructing a chance?” Dean scowled as they walked through massage rooms and past few empty Jacuzzis before entering a small office.

“Excuse me?” Castiel cocked his head.

“I was referring to the fact you’ve got a briefcase.” Dean rolled his eyes as he sat down at his desk and straightened a few papers. “Sit.”

“It’s more just a prop, I figured if I walked in here empty handed I’d look rather silly.” Castiel admitted as he pulled out a chair and sat down across from Dean.

“You look worse with it, trust me buddy.” Dean drew his eyes away from the case and looked into Castiel’s eyes. “I’m the manager and owner of Oasis. You show up, you do as you’re told, and then you go home and if you cause problems you will be out of here before you can find me to pathetically ask why your sorry ass is being shipped out.”

“Isn’t Oasis co-owned?” Castiel stared back with twice the intensity that Dean was radiating.

“My brother Sam technically co-runs it with me, but he’s still in school and he doesn’t do much for the actual resort. This place is my life and blood and I treat it as such. Got it?”

“Yes, I understand.” Castiel shifted in his seat, his eyes trailing to the picture frame on the desk. It was a wedding photo, one of a male and a female shoving cake into each other’s faces. From the angle he couldn’t tell if the man was Dean or not, but he had enough common sense not to ask at this time.

“Good.” Dean replied, “Now, you are a yoga and dance instructor. You’ll meet the other instructors soon enough, but for the first few days I want you to shadow Pamela. She’ll show you the ropes and then you’ll be on your own. Today is the eleventh of June it’s a Wednesday; you’ll have your first class Monday. Here’s your schedule.” Dean pulled a file out of a drawer and pulled a paper from it before slapping it down in front of Castiel.

Castiel straightened it under his fingertips and studied it for a minute, noting that he had Thursday and Sunday off.

“You technically have Thursday off this week, but I’d rather you still be here so you have an extra day of shadowing. You’ll always have Sundays off, and one additional day that is dependent on the week.” Dean added, as if reading Castiel’s mind. “There are staff rooms in the resort, which you are free to utilize to your heart’s content. They’re on floor two. Floor one is the parking garage, floor three is the lobby.”

“I’ll remember that.” Castiel attempted a smile.

“You better remember everything I’m telling you.” Dean mumbled as he took more files out of the drawer. “So, what’s your element?”

“Air.” Castiel answered automatically, “And yours?”

“Fire.” Dean made eye contact and for just a second before drawing back and kicking the drawer closed. “And I think now I’ve told you everything you need to know. Here’s your nametag, uniforms are in the staff rooms.”

“Thank you Mr. Winchester.” Castiel stood. “I apologize for sounding thick here but what should I do right now?”

“Go to the staff rooms, find a uniform. Ditch the briefcase, go find Pamela and ask when her next class is. I know, of course, when it is, but I need you to realize that this place requires work. While you wait for that to start, familiarize yourself with the grounds.” Dean coughed. “And be as friendly as possible to the guests at all times. I’ll yell at you every day of the week and it still won’t get you sacked as quickly as a bad guest review will.”

“Understood.” Castiel nodded, nervous energy seeping through him. With one hand wrapped around the handle of the ridiculous briefcase he walked out of the office and back down the hallway to the lobby.

This job was meant for Castiel to relax and do something he liked for a change, as was his New Year’s Resolution. He had been ecstatic when he had received the job offer, and this morning his spirits had still been soaring high, but as he left the boss’ office he couldn’t help but acknowledge how harsh he had seemed. What if this job only caused more stress and anxiety? Castiel wondered as he walked towards the large elevator.

“Castiel!” Jo caught him right as the elevator doors dinged.

“Hello Jo!” Castiel smiled.

“Sorry about Dean, he can be a bit too much at times. Everyone else is friendly as candy floss, and you’ll be just fine.” Jo pushed a strand of blond hair behind her ear. “I’m only eighteen, but my mom’s the secretary and accountant of this place so I’ve worked here ages.”

“You’re a water element, aren’t you?” Castiel grinned knowingly.

“How’d you figure that out?” She suddenly looked concerned.

“No, it’s just the friendliest people seem to be water elements.” Castiel shrugged.

“Then you’ll love my mom, come on, I’ll introduce you!”

Castiel was suddenly being dragged over to the check in desk.

“Mom, this is Castiel. Castiel, this is Ellen, my mom.”

Ellen looked up from the desk and smiled, her smile a picture perfect copy of Jo’s. “Nice to meet you, Castiel.”

“Nice to meet you too, Ms. Harvelle.” Castiel greeted, “And now I’ll go get ready.”

They bid each other goodbye and Castiel returned to the elevator alone, descending into the underground. When he found the floor he walked down the corridor and into one of the open rooms. As promised, it was a pretty typical break room. A few beds, a dart board, and a large corkboard full of memos accented the space.

After finding a uniform and putting his forms inside his case, he went back to the lobby and then found his way to the exercise rooms. He felt a little out of place in his uniform, a white polo shirt with tan kakis, but as guests began to wake up and fill in the classes he would smile at them and they would smile back, and he felt like he fit in a little better by noon.

Pamela Barnes was an experienced teacher at Oasis for years, and she had long dark hair and eyes that could read you better than you could read yourself. She introduced Castiel to the other instructors, Benny, Jody, and Garth, and then showed him around the resort. The outside portion was the most remarkable, with the bamboo flooring stretching out into a massive patio which held a dozen hot tubs and a large pool in the middle. All around were umbrellas and flowers, and lights were strung across the wooden rafters above.

“This is gorgeous.” Castiel murmured.

“Yeah, this place is somethin’ else alright.” Pamela said softly. “I’m sure you’ve met Dean Winchester. He loves this place more than he loves anything else.”

“Is he married?” Castiel asked suddenly, turning around to face her. “I saw a picture on his desk but I wasn’t sure…”

“No, he’s not. Dean’s not a relationship type of person, he doesn’t connect like that.” Pamela chuckled, “Whenever he’s not here he lives in the basement of his brother and his wife’s basement.”

“Surely he has enough money to move out, this place is pre-booked until next December!” Castiel frowned.

“It’s by choice, of course. He has girlfriends off and on, but I think he likes being alone. His own house would be too much for him I think.”

“I guess so. You know what they say about fire elementals, if you get too close they’ll burn you.” Cas said softly. “What are you?”

“Air.” Pamela licked her lips, “I’ve always felt like I belonged to the earth though.”

“I’m air as well. I don’t mind it.”

“Just don’t let Dean catch you using it to do work around here. Had a water get fired because he cleaned tables too quickly.”

“He doesn’t like shortcuts on work, does he?” Cas shook his head, moving out of the way so a guest could pass by.

“He’s a strange man, but he’s a good man.” Pamela sighed, “Castiel, promise me you won’t get in his way.”

“I would like to keep this job.” Castiel smiled, “I won’t bother him.”

“Good boy. Now follow me, I’ve got a class in ten minutes.”

The week passed quickly, and to Castiel’s relief he ended up enjoying almost every moment of it. Pamela was a wonderful teacher and the rest of the staff treated him like family after only a few days. All the staff except one, at least.

Dean Winchester was stoic and terse to everyone, but it seemed like he went out of his way to be even more so to Castiel. Despite this, Castiel forced himself to still smile at Dean and move on with his day.

 When Sunday rolled around he was almost upset to not be going to work.

He laid back on the recliner in his apartment and frowned at the clock.

“I could call Gabriel…” He mused out loud. “Ah, what the hell, I guess I will.”

Gabriel answered on the sixth ring. “Hey little brother!”

“Hello Gabriel. How are you?” Castiel settled in a chair and crossed his legs.

“We’re all good! How’s the new job?”

“It’s good! The pay is good and my coworkers are decent company. The boss is -“ Castiel paused, “well, he’s not that bad. He’s one of those people that try to be all intimidating and harsh but they kind of draw you in, like you want to find out all their secrets.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever met anyone like that.” Gabriel dead-panned, “So, got any hot dates yet?”

“Gabriel, no.” Castiel frowned against the phone, “I’m not even looking.”

“Why not?” Gabriel whined through the phone line, “You’re twenty five, Cassy. Gotta start living sometime.”

“You’re one to talk, you’ve had three different girlfriends In two months.” Castiel rolled his eyes.

“Girlfriends is pushing it.”

“You’re not hearing me call them anything else.” Castiel groaned.

“Fuck bud-“

“No!”

“Fine. Have fun sleeping alone brother.” Gabriel said sarcastically.

“I’ll have a great time, thanks.” Castiel considered hanging up, but paused to see if Gabriel would speak again. When he didn’t, Castiel continued. “If I see somebody I fancy, I’ll ask them out. But for now, I’m fine being alone.”

“I’m fine being alone is the biggest line of bullshit in the history of bullshit. I’m just worried about you!”

“I don’t need to be sleeping with somebody to validate my existence! I’m happy alone, and I’ve got friends!” Castiel leaned back and switched the phone to his other hand.

“If you had as many friends as you say you do, you wouldn’t call me as much as you deny you do.” Castiel could hear the smirk in Gabe’s words.

“I’ve been on the job for like four days. Tomorrow is my first class I’m teaching alone.”

“I hope that goes well for you.” Gabriel said earnestly, “But if you miss the chance to look at all those asses I’ll really have to disown you.”

“Okay, and now I’m done talking to you.” Castiel rolled his eyes, “Goodbye Gabriel.”

He hung up and wondered why he ever called his brother in the first place. Maybe Gabe was right, maybe he should at least start dating again. The last girlfriend he had had had been back in ninth grade, when he was seventeen, but since then nobody had even so much as caught his eye.

And then he had the trouble of figuring out what to do with the rest of his Sunday.

 

He came in on Monday morning with Bon Jovi playing in his headphones and a groggy smile on his face.

“Good morning Ellen, Jo.” He nodded to the pair in the lobby before walking down the hallway to the exercise rooms. “Morning Mr. Winchester.” He smiled when Dean passed him, earning a faint grunt of greeting.

“You seem cheery.” Pamela walked up in her usual workout gear. “Ready for you first proper day?”

“You bet. I think I’ve been prepared by the best.” Castiel gave her a wink.

“With that kind of flattery, you’ll go far.” Pamela patted him on the back. “Say, has Dean let up on you any yet?”

“Not at all, but it doesn’t bother me. Whatever stick he’s got up his ass is not of import to me. I’m here to do my job, and he’s not going to stop me.” Castiel put his foot on a bench and began to untie his shoelaces.

“That’a boy! Don’t you let him get you down.” Pamela encouraged, “Good luck, Castiel.”

She left Castiel to prepare alone, and therefore gave him time to think. What he wouldn’t dare tell Pamela is that Dean sort of fascinated him, in a very obscure way. Dean seemed so untouchable, like he was at the top of a mountain and you wanted to climb up there too, just to see what was there. Find out what made him the way he is; find out why he’s so inaccessible.

“Excuse me?” A guest interrupted Castiel’s thoughts.

“Yes, is there anything I can help you with?” Castiel gave his best pleased-to-help face.

“I was wondering when the morning yoga class started?”

“In ten minutes, in room three. I’m actually the instructor.” Castiel beamed.

“Thank you.” She wandered off, uncaring.

“Glad to help!” He grinned after her.

“You’re really taking the pep to heart, aren’t you.” A voice said from beside Castiel and made him jump.

“I suppose so! It’s what you told me to-“ Castiel began.

“I know what I told you to do. Keep it up.” Dean never let his gaze leave his iPhone.

“So, you’ve gotten over pretending I don’t exist.” Castiel said smugly.

“If I was pretending you didn’t exist, I’d skip over your name in the payroll.”

“Good point.” Castiel drew out, “Okay, good talk. I have a class to teach now.”

“Oh thank god, I don’t think I could handle another second of this conversation.” Dean mock-groaned as Castiel walked off.

The class flew by, and hearing people refer to him as “Mr. Novak” made him smile just a little bit more often than normal. Pamela walked by near the end and gave him a thumbs up, but Dean walked by moments after and ignored him completely. Castiel tried to pretend this didn’t make the corners of his mouth turn down ever so slightly, but it was almost impossibly to pretend he didn’t care at all. Even Jo had noticed that.

After his yoga class had ended he had two hours until his next one, so he found himself lying on a bed in one of the staff rooms, attempting to figure out a Rubix cube.

Dean walked in and faced the table against the wall, running his fingers through his hair dropping a towel onto the table.

“Do you ever take a break?” Castiel wondered out loud. Dean jumped.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean clenched his teeth. “I thought I was alone.”

“That doesn’t much answer my question.” Castiel hummed.

“Do you ever stop asking questions?” Dean grunted.

“Not really. Not when people interest me.” _Shit_ , Castiel thinks, did I just say that?

“Okay, let’s stop right there.” Dean narrowed his gaze, “I am your boss. I’m not interesting.”

“How about you answer three questions of mine, and then I never ask you another question again.” Castiel propositioned, sitting up on the bed and putting his feet on the ground.

“Dear god.“ Dean sighed and put his fingers to his temple. “Fine.”

“Excellent. First question, what’s your favorite album?” Castiel grinned.

“Really?” Dean almost laughed. “Fine. Physical Graffiti, Zepplin ’75.”

“Good choice, okay question two.” Castiel put a finger to his chin as Dean sat down on the bed across from his. “Have you ever had a girlfriend?”

“Plenty.”

“Why don’t you have one now?” Castiel pressed.

“Is that your third question?”

“Okay, no. Third question is who burned you, in the past?” Castiel saw Dean freeze from across the room.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’ve been through a lot of crap, I know why people act the way they do. I was just wondering if you’d let me know what happened to you.” Castiel played with the loose threads on the bed sheet.

“Ah!” Dean made a sarcastic sound of epiphany, “You’ve done it! You’ve cracked my poor, dark soul! I’m going to cry on your shoulder now until all my issues melt away, and then we can go drive off into the sunset together!”

“Okay, that’s unnecessary. I was just trying to help.” Castiel frowned.

“Get this straight, Cassidella, I don’t. Need. Help.” Dean stood, punctuating every word with his hand. “Now if you’d excuse me, I have a resort to run.” Dean left abruptly.

“Ass.” Castiel grumbled, but after a second he smiled to himself. Despite how disastrously their conversation had ended, there was still something to be said for the fact Castiel had gotten Dean to actually talk to him.

And if that could happen, maybe anything could happen.

* * *

Dean wouldn’t look at him for two more days, and the next time they spoke was in the line for lunch.

“Can you hand me a roll?” Castiel asked Dean cautiously.

“Really. Really?” Dean sighed. “Here.” He practically tossed the roll to Castiel.

“Uh, thanks.” Castiel mumbled in reply. They sat across the room from each other,  and Castiel found himself drumming two fingers on the table and staring the back of Dean’s head.

“Why do you keep glancing over at Dean’s table?” Jo asked through a mouthful of salad.

“He’s sitting alone.” Castiel sighed, poking at his own salad. “Christ, it feels like we’re in grade school again. I’m concerned about the kid sitting alone.”

“He’s like thirty, not much of a kid.” Jo chuckled, “Besides, you’re not going to get involved, are you? For five years I’ve been around him and I’ve seen him with beards, I’ve seen his brother get married, I’ve seen him walk through the front door of this place with a wounded dog dripping wet, and not a single thing has changed him. I’ve seen Pamela and Garth get hired, I’ve seen Crowley and Abaddon get fired, and still, no change. I’m sorry Castiel, but I doubt anything you say or do will do anything but get you in trouble.”

“I just wish there was something…” Castiel sighed.

“You care too much.” Jo groaned. “Watch this.” She bit her lip and squinted, and seconds later the water in Dean’s glass sloshed across his tray. She held back a laugh.

Castiel smiled, looking down at his tray as he made the pile of napkins on Dean’s table suddenly fly across and cover Dean’s lap.

“Castiel!” Jo whispered harshly, holding back laughter.

“Shhh!” Castiel put a hand to her mouth, fighting his own grin.

They both stopped laughing the second they realized the water in their glasses was boiling.

* * *

On Saturday, Castiel was walking to his class when he stopped to say hello to Jo in the lobby.

“Hey Castiel!” Jo greeted.

“Hey Jo! You know, Dean still hasn’t even looked at me since Wednesday.”

“I had forgotten about the lunch thing.” Jo giggled, “Hey, do you want to eat lunch again today?”

And with that, lunch with Jo became a thing.

Actually, three things were constant at work for the first four weeks Castiel was at Oasis. One, he had lunch with Jo every day at half past noon, two, he spent ten minutes every day working on the rubix cube in the staff room. The third thing was the ever-present Mr. Dean Winchester infringing on Castiel’s thoughts. The two were equally avoiding each other by the time July rolled around, and Castiel was getting sick of it.

“Jo, I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Castiel sighed, putting his head in his hands. “Pamela and Garth and even Ash all seem to have perfectly fine relationships with him! And Ash is just a kitchen worker!”

“You have a freak out about this way too often, maybe you should just go talk to him again?” Jo offered.

“That’s not gotten me anywhere in the past!” Castiel groaned, pushing his tray of food forward. “Take what you want, I’m not hungry.”

“Today, just find him and say hi or something. He’s a dick at times but he won’t bite you.”

“Hey, isn’t the whole staff going out for pizza on Friday because we officially are booked through the new year?” Castiel mused, “He’s coming too, then?”

“Yeah, he comes every year.” Jo commented, “But he’s not very talkative.”

Castiel scoffed and stood, taking the tray and tossing its contents into the trash can. “At least I’ll be able to see if he’s any different out in public.”

“He’s not!” Jo shouted at him as he walked off.

Castiel’s one-o’clock class was small and easy, and Castiel had recently found a soft piano CD to play instead of the usual nature sounds, which mixed things up.

“And now, move to this position. Keep your stomachs tight.” Castiel hummed, moving gracefully into position. “You are all wonderful at this.” He stretched up into a standing position and began to navigate through the mats, helping people with form.

“Is this right?” A woman in the back laughed as she obviously struggled to hold a pose.

“Just about! Keep your legs firm on the ground.” Castiel helped her, smiling.

When the class ended, the woman lingered.

“I suppose it’s not right to ask our trainers out for a drink, is it?” She smiled as Castiel’s mind processes stopped functioning.

“Well, ah,” Castiel felt a blush creeping along his cheeks, “Maybe… it’s certainly a flattering offer.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” The woman ducked her head, “My name is Elliot.”

“My name is Castiel Novak. Why don’t you call me when I’m no longer your trainer?” Castiel smiled nervously, handing her his card.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you at a stretch another morning, Castiel.” She winked at him and walked out, leaving Castiel standing dumb struck among twenty mats.

Luckily, that was his last class.

He walked around straightening towels and directing guests where to go for a while, however, and eventually spotted Dean in a side hallway, watching one of Pamela’s classes.

“Hey.” Castiel smiled, leaning against the wall beside Dean. The latter was observing the Pilates class through the glass wall in front of them.

“Don’t you have something better to do, Cassidy?” Dean rolled his eyes. “I mean come on, isn’t there somebody else you can bother around here?”

“I know why you do this, why you act like you hate everyone.” Castiel gazed out among the participating guests. “It’s because you’re afraid to get close to people.”

“Thank you for that observation, but you’re wrong.” Dean barked a laugh, “Now go do something else, this is about the tenth time you've tried to psychoanalyze me and it's annoying."

“Can you just treat me like a human being?” Castiel turned to face Dean, his eyes dangerous. “It’s been a month and you’ve barely said two words to me.”

“You’re my employee; I don’t have to be friends with you.” Dean refused to look at Castiel, glaring straight ahead.

“Do you even _have_ friends?” Castiel asked, his voice accusing and angry. The air around him began to swirl, forcing his hair to blow back. “I don’t think so, if this is how you treat people who have given you nothing but kindness.”

“Listen, my life is great, and I like to keep personal matters away from Oasis. Stop trying to get involved in matters that are none of your business.” Dean finally turned, almost growling in Castiel’s face. “And control your element, don’t cause a scene.”

“Fine. Fine, stay shut in. Who cares, who needs friends?” Castiel rolled his eyes and spun around, walking away quickly. As he walked, is was as if he could feel Dean’s heated gaze on his back. As his lower back began to burn, Castiel realized he probably could actually feel Dean’s gaze on him. Damn fire elemental.

“So, how did that go?” Jo popped up out of nowhere.

“I think he likes me now!” Castiel scoffed. “How'd you find me anyway?”

“I could feel the awkward tension from the sixth floor.” Jo crossed her arms. “You notice how he didn’t deny that he was treating you unfairly?”

“Trust me, he doesn’t have to say that out loud for me to understand what’s going on.” Castiel said.

“Cheer up, Castiel. He’s a jerk to everyone. Be glad you don’t have to date him, which would be the worst.”

“I know, I’m concerned if the “plenty” of girlfriends he’s had are even real.” Castiel snorted.

“They probably have ten heads and claws on their feet.” Jo laughed.

“Definitely.” Castiel nodded, “um, speaking of girlfriends, a girl asked me out today. Elliot, she said her name was.”

“And you said?”

“I said call me, and I gave her my number.” Castiel flushed.

“Is this the first time since…” Jo trailed off with her question, letting her eyes finish. Castiel nodded slowly, his eyes dropping to his feet.

“I’m so happy for you.” Jo whispered, moving forward to hug him.

“I think I’ll plan for our date to be after the pizza night tomorrow.” Castiel shook his head, “I don’t want to get my hopes up, and having it on Saturday will be better.”

“Go on, get your hopes up. Worst case, you’re exactly how you are now. Let yourself get excited about something, Castiel! It’s good for you.” Jo urged as they both clocked out and began walking to the parking lot.

“You know, I might actually. Have a good night, Jo.” Castiel stopped walking.

“Don’t you want to walk to your car?” Jo chuckled, confused.

“Nope, I catch the bus or ride a bike. Today, it’s bike.” Castiel waved feebly to a blue bike chained to a sign pointing to the overflow parking.

“Well hey, if you ever need a ride let me know!” Jo insisted before they bid each other goodbye and she walked on.

Castiel unchained his bike and began the trek home, his mind blissfully free of worries.

* * *

“Cassy!” Gabriel answered gleefully, “It’s been weeks since we’ve spoken, I was beginning to think you had died.”

“Not dead yet, Gabe. I thought you’d be pleased to know I have a date soon.” Castiel said smugly as he collapsed onto his bed.

“Oooo who’s the lucky girl? Or boy, whatever?”

“She’s a girl, and her name is Elliot. I met her today at work and gave her my number.” Castiel gazed at his curtains as he realized he was forcing himself to smile.

“Sounds plausible. I’m proud of you, Castiel. Seriously.” Gabriel’s voice dropped and Castiel heard the rare sincerity in his voice. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was worried about you. And not worried about you not getting laid, but worrying about you being alone. Nobody should be alone, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m alright Gabe, I promise. I’ve got to go know, the pizza man is here. Love you.” Castiel said quickly before hanging up, not letting Gabriel speak.

He stood up from the couch and took a step towards the door before leaning against the wall and bringing a hand to his face, his eyes pressed tight together. There was nobody at the door, and he had eaten dinner an hour earlier.

The wall held him as he trembled for a moment, his eyes burning as they fought tears. The phone rang. Castiel ignored it, but it rang again, and then again.

The last time it rang was simultaneous with the sound of Castiel slamming his bedroom door, and then the phone went still. A single light blinked on top.

_(1)_ _Missed Call- Dean Winchester_


	2. Phone Calls and Club Music

The sun seemed to creep over the horizon slower than normal, easing itself up without a care as Castiel lay sleeping on his bed. All at once he shifted, his eyes closing tighter for a brief second in his sleep, his mouth attempting to form a hint of a word: an unconscious thought.

And then his phone rang.

He made a noise of discomfort as he rolled over, his hand absently trying to turn off an alarm that had yet to ring. When his attempts did nothing, Castiel finally sat up.

A sharp, shrill ring echoed through the apartment.

“Shit.” Castiel said under his breath as he quickly slid out of bed and ran into the lounge, grabbing the phone he had left by the couch the night before.

“Hello?” He greeted, trying to sound like he hadn’t just awoken.

“Novak?” Dean Winchester’s voice said through the line.

“Uh, hello Mr. Winchester.” Castiel said again, beginning to pace his apartment.

“I need you to fill in for Pamela at eight o’clock.” Dean ordered.

“It’s almost seven now, I’m not sure I can get ready and there in an hour.” Castiel worried.

“Drive fast.” Dean said in a way that made Castiel believe he was entirely serious.

“I ride a bike, I can’t go much faster than I do.” Castiel retorted.

“Be here at eight.” Dean said as a way of goodbye, before hanging up on him.

Castiel managed a two minute shower and biked fast enough to completely erase the effects of the shower, but made it to work on time.

“Told you you would make it.” Dean walked up as Castiel was situating his things.

“Strange way of encouraging somebody, giving them no other choice.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “Why couldn’t you fill in?”

“I’m busy.” Dean set his jaw, swinging a duffle bag over his shoulder. “The tennis courts are calling me.”

“No.” Castiel turned towards Dean, a suspicious look in his eye, “If something needed to be done you’d do it, especially if was for the better good of Oasis. Also, I doubt you’d want to see more of me than you absolutely had to.”

“If you’d have answered your phone last night you would have had plenty of time to prepare, so it is a fault of your own that you were rushed.” Dean raised his eyebrows, accusing, before continuing in a mock-whisper, “And the fact I called you so late this morning is proof of the fact I _did_ try to get somebody else first.”

Castiel glared at him, his blood beginning to boil. “You have some nerve.”

Dean grinned and winked before walking off. Castiel almost ripped the cover off the air vent as he forcefully shoved the frigid air at Dean’s back, pleasing himself when Dean froze in his steps. The latter snapped his fingers and stretched in the most exaggerated way.

“Toasty!” He called from down the hall. Castiel scowled.

“You know, I’ve seen him hate people, but I’ve never seen enjoy messing with somebody as much as he enjoys messing with you.” Garth walked up beside Castiel, putting a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

“Garth?” Castiel turned, “You mean he’s not this aggravatingly horrible to everyone?”

“Not exactly. You’ve been here a month, and he’s not warmed up to you at all. I’d just give it time, bronacho.” Garth squinted.

“I don’t even care anymore. I just…” Castiel trailed off, his tongue flickering over his top lip, “Yeah. I gotta instruct a class, see ya.”

Castiel grabbed his bad and walked off, a scowl painted on his face.

* * *

“Hey grumpy.” Jo greeted him as he walked up to their lunch table. He sighed and pulled out a chair with a squeak, collapsing onto it directly after.

“Hey.” Castiel replied, taking a french fry off Jo’s tray.

“Rough day?”

“Yeah, I didn’t think I had a class until late today, and then Winchester had me in at eight. Told me at seven.” Castiel punctuated his words with another fry, soaking in Jo’s sympathetic eyes.

“That’s rough. We’ve had more people in the classes with the constant rain we’ve had this week.”

“Yeah. That’d suck, to spend all your money here and not even get to use the outdoors area.” Castiel glanced out the massive windows overlooking the jogging track.

“You know what I think?” Jo looked out the window as well, “Humans want to use the track and stuff when it’s sunny and nice, but when it rains everyone is glad to have an excuse to stay inside.”

“You’re most definitely right. I don’t think anybody would admit to it though.”

“Hell no. Doesn’t make it any less true. Hey, before I forget, are you excited for tonight?” Jo turned towards him suddenly.

“Tonight?” Castiel cocked his head. “Oh! Today is Friday!”

“Yeah, our staff pizza party is tonight.” Jo grinned.

“You seem awfully excited for pizza with a bunch of people you see every day.” Castiel asked accusingly.

“Well, of course, it’s not just a pizza party. Afterword everyone goes clubbing. Since I’m finally eighteen, my mom said she can’t stop me from going.”

“So what, we pretend to have fun eating pizza and then everyone just decides to go clubbing?” Castiel chuckled, “Frankly, I can’t see anyone here being up for that.”

“They all go to The Bunker. It’s a nightclub downtown that apparently is the best for miles.” Jo grinned wider. “So you’re in, right? I’ll give you a ride, I think you’ll get beat up if you try and bike up to it.”

“Um.” Castiel hummed, “ _Possibly_.”

“No, _definitely_.” Jo stood, gathering her tray, “I’ve got a guest list I need to organize, I’ll talk to you tonight!”

“Wait jo!” Castiel called out, but Jo was already practically skipping away. Okay. _Okay, suddenly pizza night is rave night_. He thought to himself. _I can totally handle this_.

He finished up work at half past three and headed home, planning to choose an outfit for tonight. He felt a bit silly, digging through his closet, but it was for a good cause.

Eventually he had three outfits on the bed. He tried on the first one and spun around in the mirror. It was a white button down with black pants, and a casual-looking pair of black shoes. The second was the kakis from his work outfit paired with a dark blue polo shirt, and the third was a gray button down with jeans.

He hesitated before deciding to send pictures of the outfits to Gabriel with the message “going clubbing ;)” and his brother responded promptly with

“That’s what I’m talking about!!! Last one, the rest suck lil bro.”

And so Castiel took his brother’s advice, ignored the insult and got dressed, using a bit of gel to make his hair look casually messy before grabbing his jacket and having one last look in the mirror.

He walked to the bus stop and admired the summer breeze passing by, warning him that summer was almost half way over. The bus arrived at the Snappy Tomato pizza place where Oasis had reserved a room for all the staff and Castiel hurried off, dropping change into the tip bucket on the bus.

The first person he saw was Pamela.

“Hello, Castiel! You look handsome out of work clothes.” Pamela said as she drew Castiel in for a hug. “Glad you could make it.”

The restaurant was packed, inside and out, but the room in the back only had about ten people in it. Castiel recognized a few kitchen workers, along with Ellen and Jo, and about four people he did not even know worked at Oasis.

It wasn’t until Dean walked in that Castiel was really talkative. Something about Dean’s presence set off alarms inside of him, he needed Dean to notice him. Suddenly Castiel was talking to everybody, even the unrecognized workers, and the next time he looked over, Dean was staring right at him.

And notice Castiel, he did. In fact, his eyes seemed to be locked on Castiel, watching him like a hawk.

“Hello Dean.” He grinned, his teeth white and mocking, begging Dean to try and be an asshole to him in front of everybody.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name again?” Dean said with perfect innocence, his eyes even falling for his own words, begging the question, telling Castiel that this man had no idea who he was. And just like that, Dean won this round. Because without a harsh word, Dean had pushed Castiel under him and kicked him while he was down.

And Castiel was pissed.

“Castiel, Castiel Novak.” Castiel said tersely before walking away, the muscles in his arms contracting.

Dean didn’t speak to him for the rest of dinner, and even after the pizza had all been ingested and the small talk had almost pushed its socially-appropriate limit, he didn’t even look at Castiel.

It was exciting, Castiel thought, participating in this insider’s tradition. Sure, most of the thirty-something people who attended were in on it, but the number did not matter. He couldn’t stop smiling in the passenger seat of Jo’s car, and for a minute he felt sixteen again.

“See, and you said I was too excited today at lunch. It’s fun.” Jo said smugly. “It’s a first for both of us, and it’ll be amazing.”

It was amazing.

 The lights were bright and strobe-y and the bass pounding through the floorboards seemed to resonate in Castiel’s veins. He had done this plenty, in night clubs around the world with people from every different continent. He had found himself in the arms of girls and boys, and he had slept around with more than one of them. The lights and the music brought back memories of the past and he felt the fires that once lived inside him ignite.

And from across the club he saw Dean, just staring at him, some sort of drink in his hand. Something made Castiel wander over, his shirt unbuttoned at the top and his heartbeat pounding through his head.

“Too good to dance?” Castiel shouted, half a foot from Dean.

“Too good to drink?” Dean held up what was now obviously whiskey as if to prove it.

“Nah, I just don’t have that kind of money right now, besides I’ve gotta work tomorrow!” Castiel yelled, still dancing with the beat, letting the music wash over him.

“Don’t we all? Come on, I’ll buy you something! What do you like?!” Dean, Castiel swears, smiles a little. But the curve of his lips as he shouts might just be the alcohol already in Dean.

“Screwdriver!” Castiel grinned opened-mouthed, giving some kind of ridiculous dance moves as Dean rolled his eyes and called the bartender’s attention with two fingers.

And to Castiel’s surprise, Dean takes a shot of something and starts to join Castiel. And two screwdrivers and a shot of whiskey later, Castiel was lightheaded and felt great, but Dean had easily had twice as much and had barely loosened up.

“You look better out of kakis and white shirts.” Dean commented idly as Castiel danced with his hands and kept a ridiculous smile on his face.

“You’re nicer when you’re drinking,” Castiel said loudly, “Which is kind of really weird? Because normally it is the other way around! But that’s okay!”

“You don’t even know how embarrassing you are right now.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Come on Dean, dance with me!” Castiel laugh-shouted, “I mean not _with me_ , but with me! It’s fun!!”

“You’re a lightweight, Cas, and I’m not one for dancing.” Dean said without a smile. Castiel dropped the corners of his mouth.

“You’re too uptight, and possibly an alcoholic.” Castiel pouted, swaying on his feet as he reached for the rest of his drink.

“And I should have never gotten you drunk.” Dean moved Castiel’s glass away from him.

“No, trust me, I needed this.” Castiel grinned.

“Okay. Hey, Pamela!” Dean waved Pamela over. “Find somebody for him to go fuck. I’ve never seen anybody need to get laid more in my life _.”_

“Dean Winchester, you be nicer. I’ll keep him from bothering you.” Pamela took Castiel (who had started dancing again to the random dubstep) by the wrist.

“Woah!” Castiel shrieked, “Can you believe how great this music is?”

“Yeah, now come on.” Pamela pulled Castiel away, leaving Dean drinking alone with one shoulder pressed against the bar. He took a sip of Castiel’s abandoned drink.

It took Castiel fifteen minutes to end up befriending a man with dark black hair and a nose piercing who kept on insisting to buy him drinks.

“You know it’s kind of like when you’ve got two dissertations due and your roommate’s like, ‘ _Dude_ , I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I know for a fact you’ve not left the house’” Castiel said obnoxiously loudly, his words melting together and his hair a mess, with or without the gel it once held. He had another drink in his hand, a much larger one than before.

The man with black hair grinned and backed Castiel into a wall slowly, putting his hands on Castiel’s hips.

From across the place Dean couldn’t tell what was going on, but he was watching Castiel and his eyes were dangerously narrowed.

When Black Hair grinned like a predator and pressed his lips against Castiel’s, pinning the latter to the wall, Dean felt a growl in his chest and moved quickly, almost throwing Black Hair off of Castiel.

“Hey bud, sorry for the cock block, but he’s got work tomorrow.” Dean elbowed him out of the way.

Black Hair snarled and glared at Dean before shaking his head and walking off, leaving Castiel looking blissed out and irritated at the same time.

“You’re a fucking sucky partier!” Castiel screamed, “You act like you hate everyone and drink in the corner and then keep people from getting laid I don’t- I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I think- I think you ought to not!”

“You’ll thank me when you’re not roofied in the back of somebody’s trunk!” Dean said as he took Castiel by the wrist and dragged him over to a quieter corner. “I’m calling you a cab.”

“Where’s Jo?” Castiel looked around.

“She left an hour ago.” Dean glared, “Stop moving so much.”

“Let me go!” Castiel whined, trying to get out of Dean’s grip.

“Congrats, you’re the first of my employees to get completely shit faced before two am. Go home, Novak.” Dean growled, “And don’t you dare come into work drunk, or hungover. I’ll get Garth or someone to take your shift.”

“I’m fine.” Castiel glared back.

“I can’t believe they invited you.” Dean said under his breath. A part of him really hoped Castiel didn’t hear.

Dean finally let go of Castiel until the cab arrived, and then awkwardly made sure he got in alright. Castiel was violently shoved awake by the cab driver when he reached his house, and for a second he had no idea where he was.

“Sorry?” Castiel murmured, rubbing his eyes.

“We’re here. Eight fifty is fare.” The cab driver said (much too loudly in Cas’ opinion)

He handed the fare over and got out, taking too long to walk to the door and even longer to shove the key in and turn the lock. Castiel was really glad there was nobody living with him to see him come home absolutely plastered. He rinsed his mouth out with tap water and crashed on the couch, a headache starting to burn behind his temple.

* * *

Castiel woke up at a quarter past ten and glared at the wall. The night replayed in his head, but nothing in particular stood out. There was a part with a boy he didn’t quite remember, and then he recalled Dean yelling at him… but he couldn’t seem to remember what happened in between. He saw his phone on the floor and picked it up, groaning when it flashed a battery and then went black again.

By the time it was plugged in and powered enough to turn on, Castiel had figured out it was nearing eleven and he desperately needed to get to work, but something else Dean had said resonated.

He frowned and picked up his phone, leaning against the wall so he didn’t have to remove it from the charger.

_Ring_  
 _Ring_

“Winchester.” Dean answered on the second ring.

“Hey Mr. Winchester.” Castiel tried to make himself not sound pathetic, “I’m so sorry for last night. I guess I got carried away.”

“Damn straight you did.” Dean said.

“Look, I know you told me not to come in hungover but I can make it to my four o’clock class.” Castiel closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

“You won’t need to be coming in at all, actually.”

“W-what? Why?” Castiel’s eyes flew open.

“You’re fired.” Dean said sharply.

Castiel’s heart dropped and his pulse raced, his mind suddenly unable to think of a response. “W-what?” He repeated.

“Okay, I think that shocked you enough. You’re not fired, I just wanted to make sure you know how obnoxious you were last night.” Dean had the nerve to chuckle.

“What?” Castiel repeated after a sharp intake of breath, his heartbeat returning to normal, “That was a dick move.”

“Yeah. And you’re welcome, for helping you last night.” Dean hummed.

“Did I need to thank you for kicking me out and sending me home?” Castiel snapped.

“More like keeping you from embarrassing your ass and then getting you home safe.” Dean mumbled.

“Fine, I’ll give you that.” Castiel sighed. “Okay, so I’m not coming in today until three-ish. This okay?”

“Yeah. Feel better.” Dean added, the words a bit out of place in his voice. “And if you do that again, I swear to god I will actually fire you.”

Ah yes, that was much more fitting of a goodbye.

Castiel hung up the phone and left it with the charger, grabbing a glass of water and dropping an Alka-Seltzer into it, watching it fizz.

He spent most of the remaining morning hours and into the afternoon watching TLC and drinking copious amounts of water to recover, but by the time two o’clock rolled around he still felt pretty awful. For a moment he had a thought that he hadn’t even checked his phone in a few hours, and someone might have tried to contact him, and this thought alone coaxed him off the couch.

He was right, he found, as he picked up his phone and saw two missed calls. His worry subsided when he saw that they were unknown numbers, and hoped it had just been a confused soul trying to contact somebody else.

He hit “Redial” and waited.

_Ring._

_Ring._

_Ring._

“Hello, Elliot Martin speaking.” A female voice answered.

“Hello, Elliot, this is Castiel Novak. I noticed you called me twice about an hour ago.”

“Oh, Castiel! You gave me your card earlier this week and asked me to call.”

Castiel suddenly remembered the date and clammed up, “Elliot, of course! How are you?”

“I’m doing well, I was hoping I could see you tonight?” Elliot asked warmly.

“Tonight is… not the best night. Perhaps next Friday night?” He worried he was pushing it back too far.

“Oh, I won’t even be in town any more after Tuesday.” She interjected, confirming his fear. “Is that the earliest you’re free?”

“Oh, well if you won’t be in town, I don’t see how this could work at all, really.” Castiel kicked himself, “Maybe it’s best we don’t go out. I’m sorry Elliot, but I really must go.”

“Oh- okay. Goodbye, then.” She sounded hurt.

“I’m sorry, really.” Castiel began, but Elliot had already hung up. He instantly felt terrible- and not because the date was canceled. He felt terrible because he felt relieved that the date was now never going to happen, and it wouldn’t be something he had to worry about. Who cares that he already told Gabriel and Jo, they’d understand, right?

He pushed the entire incident out of his mind and fell back onto the couch, letting out a miserable, exaggerated groan when his alarm to get ready to go to work went off.

At least he had Sunday off.

 


	3. Thunderstorms and Serious Conversations

Two weeks later Castiel discovered not much changes over time, and time goes quickly when you enjoy your job. The rain, however, never stopped falling. The past three weeks had been filled with wet pavement and nasty morning commutes, and Castiel was sick of it. It was late July, and his summer was not meant to be spent inside staring at the sky having a mental breakdown.

And when one doesn’t have a car, it’s an incredibly difficult weather to take.

One night in particular the rain was deafening outside, and it had tricked Castiel by being calm in the morning, so he had ridden his bike to work, and now he was stranded.

The rain pounded on the windows wildly as the traffic in the main hallways dwindled. Castiel was nervous on his feet, anxiously glancing out the window every few minutes. His hands worked over each other, his teeth permanently trapping his bottom lip.

Everyone else had gone home early, or was staying the night, and Castiel was kicking himself for deciding to work late. The sky was a sharp black that contrasted only with the streetlights that were drowned out by the heavy rain.

He sat on a couch by the revolving door and frowned to himself, wondering if he could crash here for the night and then return home in the morning to get ready.

“Castiel?” Ellen walked into the lobby, instantly alarmed when she saw him. “What in hell’s name are you still doin’ here?”

“Bikes aren’t too friendly when Noah’s halfway done with his next ark.” Castiel smiled sadly. “Everyone else has left, and I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to get home. I suppose you water elements can just make it bounce off you or something.”

“Well, it doesn’t work quite like that.” Ellen chuckled, “Dean’s still here, I’ll bet he’ll give you a ride.” Ellen patted him on the shoulder, “would you like for me to ask him?”

“No, no. I think that’s okay.” Castiel grimaced at the thought of asking Dean to take him home.

“Well, alright. I’d give you a ride, but my car’s not here right now hun.”

“Thanks Ellen, have a good night.” Castiel waved her off and found himself alone again. A crack of lightning lit up the parking lot like it was daylight for a split second before immersing the world in darkness once again, and Castiel shivered.

He made a sound of discontent and glanced around once more before checking his watch. Half past eleven.

“Fuck it.” Castiel murmured, standing up. He found himself at the door to Dean’s office, his knuckles hovering an inch away from the wood. With a large amount of trepidation, he knocked.

“It’s open.” Dean called from inside. Castiel took a breath and entered.

“Hi.” Castiel breathed.

In Dean’s defense, he did not look angry, or annoyed. He looked confused and vaguely surprised, and the look on his face sent a sudden shiver down Castiel’s spine.

“Okay, you’ve got me. I have no idea who I was expecting, but it wasn’t you. What do you need?” Dean finally looked away, his fingers falling to the keyboard in front of him.

“It’s raining-“

“Good observation.” Dean cracked.

“It’s raining and I bike to work, I stayed late to finish some work and now I don’t think I’ll be able to make it home. Ellen told me you were still here, and I was wondering if you could-“ Castiel almost paused, considering backing out right then and there. Dean couldn’t say no, could he? But even if he didn’t, the car ride would rival the car trip he took with Michael after their mom died and- “possibly give me a ride home.”

Dean looked up and stared at him. Full on Green Vs. Blue staring competition with utter disbelief seeping out of Dean’s pores.

“Are you real?” Dean titled his head.

“Are you high?” Castiel countered, cocking his head a bit farther than Dean had.

“Fine. I’ll give you a ride.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Thank you.” Castiel nodded and continued just standing there, staring at Dean’s hands on the keyboard.

“Okay, not if you keep staring at me.” Dean bit.

“Sorry. I’ll be in the lobby.” Castiel gave a single, awkward wave of his hand and walked out.

He was dozing off on the couch in the lobby around midnight when Dean finally emerged.

“I’d almost forgotten about you. Kinda hoped you’d of asked somebody else by now.” Dean mumbled.

“I asked you at eleven thirty, if you had any common sense you’d have known I did ask everyone else. You were a last resort.” Castiel stood up, straightening his jacket. The rain had not slacked at all.

“If you keep talking like that, this is the last resort you’ll ever work at.” Dean snarled.

“Look, I’m sorry. I’ve just been stuck here for like five hours after my last class ended.” Castiel rubbed his forehead.

“Well then come on, I’ve been here since Wednesday.” Dean walked out the front door, Castiel trailing close behind.

They half-jogged through the pouring rain to the staff parking, where Dean flashed the lights of a gorgeous black car. They both got in and Dean ran a hand through his hair, rubbing the water on his trousers.

“What year is it?” Castiel asked tentatively as Dean put the keys in the ignition.

“She’s a nineteen sixty-seven Chevy Impala.” Dean said with more pride in his voice than Castiel had ever heard, even when Dean spoke about Oasis.

“She’s beautiful.” Castiel said in awe.

“I know.” Dean smirked. “Where do you live?”

“Off Northway. Just turn at the second light.” Castiel told him and Dean nodded before turning up the radio. The music lasted for a few minutes before crapping out, filling the car with static.

“Shit reception.” Dean flicked it off, leaving the rain on the roof of the car to fill the silence. Castiel looked out the window and watched the raindrops chase each other on the glass, wondering why he didn’t feel uncomfortable to be so close to Dean.

“Turn right or left?” Dean finally asked, his voice rough.

“Right. And be careful, it’s not a clear-“

“I know how to drive, thanks.” Dean glanced at him, a slight glare in his eyes.

“You are a dick, Dean Winchester.” Castiel laughed, a bubbly laugh that came out of the absurd strangeness of the situation and slight hysteria after taking months of Dean being… well, Dean.

“Excuse me?” Dean scoffed.

“I mean, it was nice of you to give me a ride. But come on, you’ve got to have some reason for being especially shitty to me in particular.” Castiel continued, his hand inching toward the door, like he expected to have to jump out onto the road at any moment.

Dean said nothing, he just stared straight ahead.

“And now you’re not saying anything, which is making me uncomfortable.” Castiel continued with the say-whatever-comes-to-mind.

“How about you keep in your own business.” Dean sighed, his hands gripping the wheel.

“I’m so curious, you know.” Castiel dared, his eyes locked out the windshield. He knew exactly how far his house was down this road, he wouldn’t have to bare anything for long. “Because at the rave you seemed to keep staring at me, and you bought me a drink, not sure if you remember that though.”

“Please,” Dean’s voice went dangerously soft, “Don’t.”

“Oh, I will.” Castiel’s words hung in the air, the car growing hot. “And why do you always tell people to ‘control their element’ when you obviously can’t control yours?”

“I think you just answered your own question, buddy.” Dean glared out the windshield.

“You tell people to control their elements because you can’t?” Castiel asked, softer.

“Couldn’t.” Dean growled, “This rain is too strong, I can’t see a damn ten feet in front of me.” He pulled over in a gravel driveway and cut off the engine.

“Dean, what happened?” Castiel turned, putting one leg under himself. He finally had Dean trapped, somewhere he couldn’t run from. Castiel wanted answers.

“Why are you so curious?!” Dean shouted, his voice pained and his posture vulnerable. Castiel was exposing him, and Dean was defenseless.

“Because my parents traveled the world and they met all sorts of people and the people who scared them the most were the ones that reminded them of themselves, and I know there’s something about me that scares you.” Castiel furrowed his eyebrows.

“You know what scares me? I scare myself. You, you are nothing to me.” Dean squinted back.

Lightning filled the sky and they both stayed silent, waiting for its partner in crime. As if on cue, thunder rumbled loud and hard around them, shaking the frame of the Impala.

“Why do you scare yourself? Because you’re almost thirty and you’re not married? Still alone?” Castiel tried.

“That doesn’t matter to me, I’ve had plenty of girlfriends.” Dean snapped, “You, however, should probably be afraid of that.”

“You’re right, the first date I’d planned since my parents died I canceled, and I kiss random people at clubs.” Castiel saw something flicker in Dean’s eyes.

“You’re twenty something too, why are your parents dead?” Dean asked, the harsh tone of his words was gone.

“When I was younger we went everywhere, and when I was seventeen my father caught something in Africa and they wouldn’t let him come back to America, he died in a hospital with my mom close by. My brothers and sister and I all came back alone and my mom came home a month later, and she went insane. He was her world, and without him she killed herself.” Castiel had not spoken this story aloud to anyone besides his therapist, but in a strange car with his boss in the middle of a thunderstorm, it somehow seemed appropriate.

“Oh.” Dean replied, his eyes focused on his own window, like he couldn’t even look at Castiel. “When I was seven, Sammy and I were playing in the living room and I was showing off how I could burn things and… the rug just… went up in flames and the floor followed and I grabbed Sammy and I ran outside and our parents… didn’t make it out.” Dean struggled through the words, the sheer force of saying them taking the breath out of his lungs.

“You were seven, it’s not your fault.” Castiel breathed, his voice obtrusive and heavy in the space that seemed to be growing smaller by the second.

“Yeah,” Dean clenched his fists, “Yeah, it was my fault.”

“No wonder you’re hurt. You’ve been blaming yourself for this for twenty years.” Castiel whispered, reaching out a hand to do something, provide some type of comfort, but he had nothing to reach for and he didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry,” Dean said, and for a second Castiel thought it might be a real apology, but then Dean followed with, “did I ask you to determine why I’m hurting?”

“Dean, let somebody in. Let _me_ in, I don’t know.” Castiel shifting back to sitting on the seat, crossing his arms. “I know what it’s like to go through life alone, with your brother on your ass to try and make sure you’re happy. All while you’re trying to convince yourself you’re happy with the way things are, but you’re not. You’re not and you don’t know what you want to fix it.”

Dean said nothing, but his eyebrows drew together.

“And don’t try and say I’m wrong, because it’s all the same.” Castiel barely whispered. “I’m sorry for inflicting this conversation upon you. I guess lately I’ve not had anyone to talk to, and then I was in a car with someone who couldn’t exactly run away.”

“It’s okay.” Dean said, his jaw tight but his words gentle. “The rain is finally beginning to slack off, let’s go home.”

The way he said home gnawed at Castiel’s stomach, like they were going to the same place, the same home. Part of him wished they were, he didn’t want to be alone tonight.

The road wound around the corner and Castiel pointed out his driveway, and Dean dropped him off without a sarcastic comment, or even a scowl. Castiel said a one-sided goodnight and stepped out into the night before walking into a house that seemed even darker. All at once he wished he had a dog, or a cat, or even another human to greet him. Maybe with a wagging tail, an affectionate purr, or a kiss on the cheek, but Castiel had nothing and nobody and so he fell asleep alone, Dean Winchester being the last thought on his mind.


End file.
